Limits

I sometimes feel like the only limits to what I can do are my own prejudices and fears. Sometimes... no, I mean, all the time, I feel like that. Maybe one day someone will quote me (do it!). The only limits to what I can do are my own prejudices and fears. Sounds good.

I dream of a life in which I'm a published writer and an eternal student. I want to study ancient history and ancient languages. Some more modern languages as well. Re-learn and improve my german. Learn russian. Chinese. Arabic (if I spoke arabic, I could get a job at the Canadian Security Intelligence Service with a really good salary... not interested). I would also like to study astrophysic. What a thrill.

I would like to coach a baseball team too. Teach kids the passion of the game and the secret of an injury-free career and the best curveball in the world. I would like to be an assistant coach on a football team. Would be great.

I would like to take long walks. I'd like to have a lot of free time.

Honestly, how many of these dreams are realistic? At once, I mean. Sure, each one, individually, is well within reach. But all of them? Are there enough hours in a lifetime for that? Maybe I could coach a baseball team from 30 years old to 35, then be a football assistant coach from 35 to 40. I could learn languages at the same time. I could publish between 25 and 30, and a few others over the next 40 years. I could go back to college at 40 to study ancient history and languages.

In the end, I guess the solution would be to meet a rich girl. Money buys time. Money can eliminate some of the fears. With fears mostly gone, prejudices don't interfere as much with your thought process. Finally the self-imposed limits exist no longer. Suddenly I can do whatever I want. Suddenly, I'm a man no more. I've risen above the ground. I'm a blackhole around which all that is revolves. I attract knowledge. I absorb concepts. I understand so much that I become incomprehensible. People will only know I'm there, but won't ever be able to see me or touch me, unless they want to be sucked in and live the thrill of the unknown and unexplainable.

Come live the thrill.