Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Quote of the day

"If I wasn't there, I wouldn't laugh much."

- Me, 30 seconds ago.

The trip

My trip is beginning to take shape. It's starting to look real. I have plane tickets prices compared. I have train passes checked up. I have a relative idea of where I want to go. Now, I just need confidence.

Go team confidence!

Monday, November 27, 2006


Why bring children into this world? The obvious answer seems to be "because it's an excuse for having sex".

To me, personal survival and procreation are part of a contingency plan, just in case one day we find real answers to the mysteries of life. That's why I can't die now. That's why I want children to follow my path. Because if there's an answer, I don't want to be the one who's given up too early.

It's like when a group of people at work buy lottery tickets... you don't want to be the one left out when they hit the jackpot.

Then again, obviously there's the sex.

Song of the day

Weak and powerless - A Perfect Circle

How does one hurt his shoulder while sleeping?

Damn, it hurts.

Quotes of the day

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

- Mitch Hedberg

Sunday, November 26, 2006

This is part of the act of a comedian I just saw on TV:

I went to a clothes store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said: "Actual".

Later she asked: "If you need anything, my name is Jill."

Wow, it's the first time I meet someone with a conditional name.


Just made me laugh.

French revenge post!

Aujourd'hui, j'écris en français pour tous ces turques qui ne veulent pas m'inclure dans leur confidences. Je serais sans doute plein de haine, si je ne trouvais pas ça aussi drôle. Tout le monde me connait bien raciste, en toute évidence. Que ce soit le mépris manifesté envers les anglais, ou même les français... nah... je ne suis qu'un clown.

Maintenant que j'y pense, peut-être devrais-je m'appliquer à l'apprentissage relatif de l'italien. Puisque mon voyage est sensé s'étirer de l'angleterre à l'italie, et que mon anglais et mon français se portent fort bien, je crois que l'italien devra être amélioré.

Et le turque... qu'il aille au diable!

Non mais, sérieusement...


Quotes of the day

Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both.
- John Andrew Holmes

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
- Jules de Gaultier

Song of the day

Fell on black days - Soundgarden


Friday, November 24, 2006

Song of the day

Hemorrhage (In my hands) - Fuel


Weight and letting people do the stuff I'm too lazy to do myself (or what I call "The Canadian way")

I'm impressed... I haven't gained as much weight as I had expected since I finished working. I'm still around 170lbs, while I was around 165 for the last couple of months. Sure, in june-july, I was more around 155, but 170 is alright for no-work weight.

Now people, in your comments you have to make a to-do list for me, regarding my trip to europe. What do I have to take care of from now till the moment I leave. I've already taken care of my passport. what next?

P.S. As I referred to in my title, "The Canadian way" is that in which we can see the true superiority of Canada, over all other nation, because we're so great that we are able to have others do the things we're too lazy to do ourselves, like war or economy.

Such an idiot at times, but rare times, because I'm smart... at least my mom thinks so.

I'm a horrible online consumer... on a consumer's perspective. For an online store, I'm profitable, I suppose.

I'm not that bad. When I buy something online, it's usually a great deal for me, because either I can't find what I want here in Québec, or I find it, but it costs twice as much. It's just this time, with the digital cameras... it just isn't a proud moment for me.

So, I'll wait until I get the second camera, and I'll find myself a place willing to buy a digital camera still in its original package for a reasonable price. Thus, I'll try to limit my loss.

At least, I'll look awesomely cool with my new cooler than cool camera. Considering that I'm already the coolest human being in this room, I can't imagine how revered I will be.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Quote of the day

What is beauty but that which we can't reach?

- Me (while eating a cheeseburger at McDonald's)

The Digital Camera saga continues...

Yesterday, I committed to buying another camera on eBay.... an even better one, only $20 more. Guess what came unannounced through the mail this morning? The camera I supposedly didn't order last week, but in fact did. How weird... Now, I'm discussing the guy/company I committed to on eBay last night whether we can cancel the commitment or not, even though I'd rather have this better one than the one I got this morning.

Two options:
1) I cancel the latest order and keep the one I have.
2) I go on with the new better one and I try to get as much as I can from a pawn shop. Original package, not even opened.

I guess it will depend on the eBay guy/company's will to break up the contract. It would just be a lot less trouble. Yet, I'd really prefer his/its camera. It's better and it looks cooler (and you all know I'm all about looks). Don't know what to do...

The only thing I know is that I now own a digital camera... and possibly two.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Quote of the day

I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Empathy, death of dogs and the quest for the ever-fading hope for the future. Yes, I do like long titles.

Damned be empathy, for it is my curse. I so easily share others emotions that I doubt having any of my own. I've been known to be overly excited in the presence of an overly excited dog (someone just told me last week that she was hit by a car... oh terrible pain!). But most of the time, there's no dog around, except depressed dogs, it seems. Enough with dogs, I don't even like dogs.

I'd need great news from someone close. I don't know, something like cashing in on the winning lottery ticket, a dream come true or something close enough. How can one build upon only negative? How can one build upon depression, disappointment, stress, boredom, fears and hate?


"O jeune fille, jette-toi encore dans l'eau pour que j'aie une seconde fois la chance de nous sauver tous les deux!" (Albert Camus)

Monday, November 20, 2006

Spread the happiness!

This is the email I sent to the customer service of the website on which I ordered a digital camera last week (because the one I want is nowhere to be found in Canada). I hope they'll like it.

I placed an order for digital camera last thursday and I've been waiting for the oh-so-glorious confirmation email ever since. So, I've had no confirmation, and if I try to track my order through the "Order status" thinggy, it seems that I don't exist at all in your database.
Meanwhile, my credit card has been charged the amount of the bill. I want to make sure that either one of these scenarios will happen: 1) I'm not charged on my credit card and I don't receive the digital camera I ordered; 2) I still get charged, but I do receive the camera I ordered.

Of course, the second option would be terrific, since it's what this site and my order were meant for! I don't know where all of it has been lost, but I'm willing to give you a chance to right the wrong. I'm one not-so-happy customer right now, and I hope things will work out for the best for us all.

Me give you money + you give me camera = Happy people dancing and holding hands and spreading the happiness.

Spread the happiness!

François Gilbert

P.S. Reply through email. I'm in Canada, will save on long distance calls. Also, I'm much more comfortable writing english than I am speaking it. Thanks.

P.P.S Spread the happiness!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

I really can't stay home that much. All I do is sit, reading, playing solitaire waiting for people to log on and chat. Meanwhile, my muscles atrophy and I gain weight. I don't sleep well, so I always feel like napping in the afternoon, but sleeping during the day has never been good to me. I don't breathe as well, I wake up with my heart beating too fast and sweating all over.

I really miss having something to occupy my days, 8 hours at a time. Actually, working took more than just the 8 hours I worked. It also used up an hour before I went to work and an hour afterward. So there, I only had 6 hours a day to try and get bored. I currently have around 17-18 hours a day to fill, and I have nothing to fill it with. What do normal people who don't work do all day long? Oh, right... normal people do not not work. All day long, they work... yes, yes, I see. Then, what do weird people do all day long?

Pink Floyd - Time

One of the greatest song ever.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
Its good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Just when you think people just don't care, a few words just put the pieces of the puzzle back into place. My puzzle is a five pieces baby puzzle, seeing just how fast pieces are scrambled and put back in order, in a matter of seconds.

Just yesterday I was extremely annoyed by the fact that amazon.com didn't ship electronics to canada, but today, after searching for hours and considering different ways to achieve my goal, I finally discovered a website that does ship digital cameras to canada, and it isn't that much more expensive. I just have to compare a little and think things through, and I think I'll order it tomorrow. Puzzle complete!

Now, the power adapter for my mp3 player... I have two plans left: either buy it while I'm in Boston in december or (and she doesn't know it yet) have a friend in england buy it (because it is sold in england. not in canada... Canada: the most worst country in the world!), then I'll pick it up once I get in england in january. I don't really need it until I get to europe. I can charge it through my USB cable and my computer. I'm not bringing my laptop with me, so I only really need it once I'm over there. Hey you, friend in england, if you read this, it would be nice if you could do this. It's only $40. Give me a bank account number or something and I transfer the money right away. Alright?

Damn... I feel like doing a puzzle.


How sucky is it that amazon.com doesn't ship electronics to Canada?! And amazon.CA doesn't even sell electronics. So I can't buy my power adapter for my mp3 player anywhere in Canada or on the internet. Also, I can't buy the digital camera I wanted. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!

Fuck it.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Game of the week


oh technology

In the process of buying a digital camera. Also in the process of buying a power adapter for my mp3 player, so that I can charge it off the wall plug instead of plugging via USB connection to my computer. Thus I could cut the charging time from 6-8 hours to... a lot less.. let's say 2 or 3 hours. Also, I'm in the process of buying two extra 2GB SD memory card for my future digital camera, as well as an extra battery.

With all of that technological support, I will be set to leave and travel the world. All I'll need will be the courage to leave.

And to all of you photographers, no, the camera won't be anything really amazing.

Monday, November 13, 2006

preferences and the state of reality in tonight's microworld.

I don't like myself tonight. I didn't like myself today. Will I like myself tomorrow? The Magic 8-ball says so.

I don't believe in God. I don't believe in a god. I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in unknown forces. Magical forces, that is. There are unknown forces, but those are natural. The question here is "What can I rely on?"

What can I rely on? What basis is there for truth? What's right or wrong, if it's only a matter of a divine perception that may not exist? What's a preference if nothing really matters?

I don't like myself tonight, but I don't believe in God. What does that mean? How can I not like myself if there's no true basis for comparison, if I only compare myself with another illusory perception of myself made at another moment, one where I was just a little more naive, more inclined to trust this reality as being real?

Maybe I do like myself after all. Who needs god...


My entire month of october was interesting. I'm not talking about any event that may have occured during the month october, although there were a couple of great moments. I'm talking about my blog during the month of october. It was all drug, sex and rock'n roll, but without drug... there was no sex either... and some would argue there was no rock'n roll either. Well, it was good anyway.

I just keep reading my posts of october over and over again. October 19th is an awesome one.


Make me proud and enjoy. Start from the bottom of the page and read chronologically. It's worth it, if you know me a little. Read it again, when you're done. I'm just that good. You love me. You all. Even you. Don't be shy. You do.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Lollipop giveaway contest

You know, I have a pretty good idea of where she lives. I've already been there, only I didn't know she lived there at the time. Actually, I didn't even know her at the time. But I know where that is. If I were just a little bit more of a psycho, maybe I would go there. But I'm still relatively sane, so I won't. I'm not a stalker.

You know, I also have a pretty good idea of where the girl I had a crush on in high school now lives. I've already been there, only I didn't know she may have been living in that area at the time. I've walked down that street quite a few times. I miss the days I was pretending to go to college, only to take off and walk all day long. That's how I got to learn the exact street layout of Old Québec City. People driving cars only know the streets they drive on. When I was walking, I knew the streets I walked on and the streets I crossed, because I changed my itinerary every time I went, trying a new street, discovering a new bench, with a new view, a new angle on the city. But at the time, I didn't know where she lived. Had I known, I would probably have gone there to sit on a bench, read a book and wait for her to walk out and notice me... in my dream.

It took me a long time to get over that girl. It's a really, really, really long story. It involves me, her and my dead best friend. I remember the last words I've told her: "It isn't that bad." Try to guess what she told me, so that I would say that.

The winner gets a lollipop.

The lollipop, as usual, will be red.

Lollipop not included. Contest excludes the residents of Québec, Bangladesh and Togo. A mathematical question will be asked to ensure you won't be interested in the contest, because honestly, I don't have any lollipop. I'm just a fraud.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Bill Walsh

The Genius, Bill Walsh has leukemia.

I hear you mumbling: "Who the fuck is Bill Walsh?!"

Before you all go Wikipedia on him, I'll tell you who Bill Walsh is. He's a football coach (I mean, american football, not the real football that we call soccer around here). He doesn't coach anymore, but to me, he will always be the coach. He transformed the role of coach like no one ever did before. He taught the game like no one did before. He analyzed the game like no one had done before. The reason why he was such a great coach isn't his intelligence. He isn't any smarter than any of today's coaches. It isn't his greater experience, or anything. The reason why he was better than others in the 80s... he was just ahead of his time. If he still coached today, he would probably feel perfectly at ease, because things still work the way he invented them, 25 years ago. Go Bill!

I can't help but think about Audrey, my very first friend. I haven't seen her in a couple of decades (damn that makes me feel old... I'm only 23!). My guess is that she died. She had leukemia. She was such a happy person. That's a shame.

What's the biggest shame between being: a) happy and dead or b) unhappy and alive.

When I think about her, I wonder if I should be allowed to live being unhappy, sad and depressed, while she isn't allowed to live, having been just so happy and joyful.

Oh Bill Walsh! What are you doing to me?!

Quote of the day

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.
- Dana Carvey

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Out of work

My boss called this afternoon to tell me the year is over. I'm glad it's over, because I'm tired, but I'll miss having something to do. Without it, I wonder how I will get myself to do things, even important things. I have little discipline. We'll see (by "we", I mean "I").

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

"What you did was stupid... I never said it was wrong."

-Quoted from a TV show (Criminal Minds, CBS, Wednesdays, 9pm)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I'm a weirdly layered guy. I'm consciously cynical and subconsciously naive. I'm a romantic in denial.

Monday, November 06, 2006

did something

I'll get my passport in 15 days. That's a step forward, isn't it?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

drunk brothers and poor metaphors

Try driving with your drunk brother constantly trying to put the car on neutral on the highway. This is basically a factual and a good metaphorical way to describe how these last few days have been for me. A constant effort not to go on neutral.

My unwillingness to make choices is in a way zen-like, whatever happens happens, but in general, it's just so unmotivating. The problem is that to make a choice, you generally need at least one motivation, and having none, I never know where to start, what to do next. At this moment, the metaphorical incarnation of my drunk brother has just put the car on neutral while I had my right hand on the wheel and the other hand putting on the flasher. I'm going on neutral, slowing down gradually. Paradoxically feeling the road slipping away from underneath my wheels. I'm not really in control.

That metaphor sucks. Good day.

I said good day.