I suppose anyone having a life similar to mine would be far more depressed than I am. Being weird helps appreciating boredom. I feel like a martyr in my own eyes. I suffer and lead by example, but only for me to benefit, only for my own attention, for my brain to understand, analyze and incorporate. I won't have mankind learn from my pains and revelations. Those are mine, and mine alone.
I can't help but wonder why men always had to learn through pain and failure. Through war, torture, lies, crime, etc.
Pains and revelations, people. No epiphany without martyrdom.